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Mitch Greene Reflects: #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithCoochie!

#ReplaceAMovieTitleWithCoochie??!! What?!
Ya know what? I’m restraining myself here, why just stick to business advice, right?
Right?

This longest day polar saltire is really getting me hot! That’s what I said, summer solstice, didn’t ya hear me?

SUMMER SOLSTICE!

And I didn’t mean that kind of hot, neither!

Summer solstice, already!

What I gotta focus on is my wisdom stuff! I have foreskin! Fore-SIGHT! Listen to me – Fore-SIGHT! Fore-SIGHT!

I’m like the Daily Lamer of more stuff than just business. Could do religion and, you know, talking about stuff, like that other Daily Lamer. Ya know! The bald Asian guy who wears a robe!  I could be bigger than him –

Why ya looking at me like that for, ya nickelhead?
#ReplaceAMovieTitleWithCoochie?? Tootsie would just be called Coochie! Easy!

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Squaw Crotch, Saskatchewan: a Hole in the Market!

These guys work for whiskey!

I’m getting people telling me “more business, Mitch, less adventures”! Well, that’s what it sounded like when the office called me. They are lost without my guidance! 

That’s leadership, see. Even though I’m hanging by a thread over the Alps they still look to me. Boy, I sure wish those fighter jets would stop buzzin’ me!

Bigmouth!

He wouldn’t stop talking!

So I gets on the phone to Chief Broomstick out in Squaw Crotch! Those guys will work for a bottle of whiskey! I got them doing cold calling for me even cheaper than Indian Injuns can! Sure, I was doing all the talking on the call and I couldn’t hear anything from the Chief because the Swiss, French and Italian jets keep circling me, but I know they have the wisdom to do this!

Jeez, is it cold up here! Woah, one of the balloons slipped outta my hand!

Mary Poppins: Pied Piper of Hamlet

Now when you get your sacks filled with gas, don’t forget that you’re lighter than air! When I realized this I had to start handing out balloons to those kids!

But, hey, I’m no child molester! Ask MGTWJ! “Pedophile!” That’s what the parents started shouting when they saw me handing gifts to their kids! So I starts running!

And those balloons cost money, so I grabbed them back off the kids. Hey presto! I’m like Mary Poppins and the Pied Piper of Hamlet rolled into one!

99 red balloons!

I got the kids parents reaching for me, but I have my secret gas weapon! I let one rip to jet away, but the spicy food really was an afterburner!

Those parents should think themselves lucky! I mean, if a pigeon dumps on you it’s lucky, so if a successful businessman like me does it  then it stands to reason it’s luckier, right?!?

Screwing at the Funfair!

So, nickelhead! Have ya quit jerkin’ around yet? Good! I’ll tell ya the rest of how to build a private jet!

My sacks are full!

Ya got your deck chair, ya ate your breezy food and ya got the balloons. Now ya need to get some helium and some rope. I got it cheap! At a fairground!

The Wrong Brothers getting it right!

Sure, those kids behind me in the line cried ‘cos of the extra wait and me finishing the balloons. but I kept tellin’ em to watch me make a historic flight! Like watching the Wrong brothers!

When you’re an important businessman, like me, you get used to upsetting people.

They even threw in a gun when I renegotiated!

I think the deal's done! I closed the door!

Well, that’s why I think they pointed it at me!

Got wind in your shorts? Now the next step!

So that’s me doing a Dizzy Gillespie impression – I’m ready for the next level!

After drinking sauerkraut juice I'm a jazz legend too!

Like flying business class? Great – me too! Get hold of a reclining sun lounger and some throw pillows!

I love flying business class! You can too! CHEAP!

This is gonna be great! You’ll be glad you listened to me – who needs those airlines!

Now get hold of some balloons – the bigger the better!

No! Wait! You’re not supposed to let the back door brass section fill them!

What a moron! Jeez! Now I ain’t telling you the rest until I next feel like it!

Wanna private jet? Ask me!

I’ve been tellin’ ya all about my private jet. It’s a great use of money! No, really!

All it costs is a few bucks, and I can usually find a way to get the stuff for free. That just me, right!

What ya gotta do is eat a lot of chilli, or cabbage, or something that really makes the wind rip through your shorts. Stick with me!

This is really a private jet!

So I did all this already. Boy am I boiling up big time! Phew!

This is the business end of business class!

What? No! That ain’t all!

Next time I’ll tell ya the rest of the secret!

Anchor Aweigh!

For this price you get white water excitement too!

Hey – now I’m in Italy! This trip from Ibiza to Belfast is really cheap – I’ve only spent 50 bucks and already I’m close. It just took a week!

So I feel the boat is about to weigh anchor, I can tell by the scraping noise coming from the hull. I’m always off first in this type of deal. After stepping on a few Africans I manage to get to the deck. No mean feat – I was in the cheap seats!

Some of them were kinda angry at me – but how many African swim champions have you seen? That’s right – I was like a hairy Duncan Goodhew!

Next time I’ll tell ya all about my private jet!

I swim like this - especially when chased by Caribiniari and Zulus!